#the imprint of september second

[llovelymoonn]

favourite poems of september

robin blaser the holy forest: collected poems of robin blaser: "[dear dusty moth]"

robin ekiss the mansion of happiness: "the bones of august"

e.e. cummings complete poems 1904-1962: "[anyone lived in a pretty how town]"

daisy fried econo motel, ocean city

david campos guilt shower and bad catholic

deborah a. miranda the zen of la llorona: "advice from la llorona"

v. penelope pelizzon blood memory

aimee nezhukumatathil invitation

jeffrey jullich portrait of colon dash paranthesis: "some materials may be inappropriate for children"

karina borowicz september tomatoes

patricia kirkpatrick survivor's guilt

kamau brathwaite born to slow horses: "i was wash-way in blood"

leslie adrienne miller the resurrection trade: "weaning"

allen edwin butt if briefly

gerrit lansing a february sheaf: selected writings, verse and prose: "how we sizzled in the pasture"

jayne cortez on the imperial highway: "in the morning"

stephen yenser preserves

ethan gilsdorf the imprint of september second

kathryn maris abc

paul zarzyski the antler tree

judith goldman vocoder: "rotten oasis"

tato laviera benedición: the complete poetry of tato laviera: "latero story"

tim seibles mosaic

ethan gilsdorf the imprint of september second

lucy wainger jiro dreams of sushi

robert duncan ground work: before the war: "a little language"

r.s. thomas the poems of r.s. thomas: "forest dwellers"

anthony wrynn saint john in the wilderness

reginald gibbons bear

walt whitman "are you the new person drawn toward me?"

kofi

[metamorphesque]

The Imprint of September Second, Ethan Gilsdorf

[wintersera]

forever mine || alpha!karina x omega!reader

notes: AGAIN sorry for the delay anon but here’s the request!! fun fact i wrote this while listening to the super mario galaxy ost 😭

cw: OMEGAVERSE, alpha karina, omega reader (obvs), maybe rina is a little possessive, use of toys, biting, scratching, g!p rina, creampie, breeding kink

wc 2.2k

your alpha girlfriend was so sweet and caring, the best alpha you could ever wish for. unlike other alphas, she was never too aggressive with you, rather, she was too careful with you- biologically she should’ve been treating you like you were her toy for breeding, but i guess not. nonetheless she was still a great alpha girlfriend.

—

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

first of september- the first ever day since you’ve forgotten to buy your heat suppressants since you started dating jimin. your stomach drops as your pheromones begin to waft around your workplace filled with pure blooded alphas.

shit shit shit i’m dead, oh i’m screwed what do i do? ohhh god what do i do?

it was sorta stupid. yeah- an undercover omega in a job filled to the brim with hardworking alphas. you were doing a great job of convincing everyone that you were just a simple beta. that’s how you landed your job in the first place, but now because of this one stupid mistake, you were bound to lose your job.

“guys…” head manager, a very big alpha man in your words, spoke up. his head tilting and nostrils flaring as he’s looking around the office, confusion on his sharp features “…are you smelling that?” with the attention drawn on your floral scent, you begin to panic as the other alphas begin sniffing around too.

ough,, how do you get outta this situation fast “i think i’ll head out early guys. whoever has their heat is driving me insane it might trigger my rut” how bad of a lie was that. it didn’t matter anyways, dashing out the room with your blazer and bag in, hand rummaging around your trouser pockets as soon as you make it out of the building.

“jesus christ jimin pick up please, please” walking, no- sprinting to the direction of your apartment. you knew your heat was gonna hit you badly. you’ve been taking suppressants for years so having a full blown pheromone disaster for the first time in years was going to be crazy. people were looking at you like you were crazy, but you’d rather have many people look at you weird than have your scent imprinted on the damn streets.

“what’s up?” thank the lord, she answered her phone just in time.

fumbling for your keys trying to shove it into the door lock, you sigh with a heavy breath “uh,, um jimin i’m going into heat- i already feel funny” unlocking the door, you fling yourself into the apartment, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

“what do you mean going into heat? did you not,,, oh well shit okay give me a few minutes” hanging up the call.

not so much to your surprise, slick was coating your cunt like crazy. to the point where it started to go through your trousers and down your legs. the need you had for your girlfriend was so unbearable.

in a haze, you wobbled to your shared bedroom and grabbed one of her used shirts. her clothes smelt so good, the lingering scent dripping from her clothes was enough to make you keel over and plop onto the bed. you felt yourself getting slicker, your needy cunt needing your alpha to come over and fuck you silly was growing stronger each second she wasn’t in the room with you.

taking matters into your own hands because you couldn’t wait any longer, the feeling of your heat coiling in your stomach was too much. your brain was giving into your biological urges and you needed to get off now or you’d suffer. grabbing a pile of jimin's clothes and making somewhat of a nest on the bed, you surround yourself with the scent of freshly ground coffee. quickly taking off every single piece of clothing, getting right back up to open the box of toys you kept just in case a moment like this ever happened- searching for anything, any toy, that could satisfy you while you wait for your alpha.

whereas jimin on the other hand was worried sick. throughout your two year relationship with her she’d never seen you in a proper heat. like yeah, the heat suppressants and scent blockers helped quite a lot so you were never heavily affected by the symptoms. of course omegas would usually never get this horrible desire to mate this early into their heat, but unfortunately for you, you did have this raging urge to mate so early.

you weren’t so very conscious, you were starting to feel groggy, a feverish high temperature when you touch your head began to appear. this heat was kicking you in the ass and you couldn’t take it anymore- taking the vibrator in your hands and placing it on the highest setting, your hands make there way all the way down to your throbbing clit “a-ah, hnnng jimin come quick…”

so so desperate for her, you pick up your phone hoping that she would answer your calls “please- please pick up jimin”

“i’m almost home baby, do you need something or…”

“just hurry up i’m begging you to come home pleaseee” and who was she to deny your request. stepping on the gas faster knowing that her precious little omega was in need of her alphas presence. she could here your desperation deep within your voice.

“don’t worry i’m about to park soon, just wait for me okay” jimin, knowing how she acted during your very suppressed heats, believed that she could never submit to her instincts since she has never done so when it came to you. that quickly changed as she opened the door, the scent of roses attacking her as she stepped inside. it was a thick scent, it stuck to everywhere and it didn't help that you couldn’t open the windows in time, now your walls were coated in this thick floral scent.

it took jimin a lot of willpower not to give into her urges right there. she felt her rut kicking in and it made her growl in discomfort. never feeling this way in a while, because she took rut suppressants since the two of you started dating, she started growing hazy much like you did. she was a pure blooded alpha which didn’t help either, the intensity of your heat did rounds on her and she had strongest urge to mark you up.

you could hear her footsteps grow louder and louder, her low growls could be heard with the door still shut. quite impressive. she didn’t even say anything when entering, taking off her work clothes only leaving just her boxers on, the line of her hard cock showing through made you whimper out loud. your slick was practically drooling out from your pussy.

in her eyes you were nothing more than a snack to be devoured. her red eyes peered down at you like you were some sort of prey, and you must admit that pure blooded alpha jimin was really arousing to watch. pheromones in the room were strong as hell, your thick sweet floral scent mixing with jimin’s freshly scented coffee smell made a delicious combination. the scent alone driving you two mad.

she went to sit on the bed, still peering at you meek little body. with hunter like eyes she stared you down and licked her lips, “sit up omega” obeying your alpha like the good little omega you are, you sit up from the nest of clothes.

she could hear little puffs of air pour out of your lips, stifling a chuckle as she watches you struggle to sit up straight and look at her straight in the eye. hooking you up with ease, jimin had your body pressed up against hers, sliding one of her hands in between your thighs opening them up with a strong grip “you look so needy for me” a second goes by and she’s shoving you back into the pillow.

“fuck” jimin whispered “how do you smell so good” nuzzling into the crook of your neck, “you smell so tempting, fuck, i can’t-“ she gave your thighs a firm squeeze, exhaling shakily “you need to take me right now, i can’t take it anymore. i need to feel your tight cunt around my cock” her voice low and coarse. in a flash she slipped her cock into your dripping heat, mewls threatening to escape your mouth.

if you weren’t too dazed and horny you would’ve been saying how you’ve waited for this exact moment. jimin didn’t spend anytime fucking around with foreplay, she went straight into pounding your slicked up hole with no mercy. everything she did set your body ablaze, her hands were touching every single inch on your body and it felt so fucking good.

like a ravenous animal she attacked your neck, licking, marking, biting your throat all whilst groaning. her animalistic mind wanting to show that you’re her omega and nobody else’s and by that she had to litter you with marks of any kind, purposely rubbing her scent to mark you as her omega.

every thrust made your back arch slightly off the bed, hitting all the spots you never knew could feel good because of how nice she usually fucked you. you felt how fast and precise her movement was, and it was heavenly.

as your back arched closer to hers, she shifted even more closer to you, practically pinning you onto the bed by hooking both of your legs above her broad shoulders. hitting even deeper then she previously did before, you felt the tip of her cock graze your cervix “mmfh, fuck, fuck- my baby feels so fucking good” saying all that while she’s harshly sinking her teeth into your shoulders.

“s’too much,, ah- jimin, g-good” her urges began to flare up, the only thing on her mind was to mark you up for good. like she was oh so desperate to keep you as hers.

pulling her cock out, in between breaths she instructs you “turn around. y/n turn over for me.. need to- need to fill you up“ taking your legs of her shoulders and flipping you over with ease, again with her predatory gaze, she stares right at your exposed ass in which tempted her to completely destroy you until you can’t stand anymore, leaving you in a state of vulnerability so that she can take care of you.

her alpha instincts were indeed controlling her every movement, the loving and caring alpha you knew was gone. all was left was a dominating alpha who wanted to fuck you till you were filled up with her cum, even if that means you’ll bear her pups.

returning back into your needy cunt, she moans even louder, louder than you’d ever heard. “omega- omega fuck, i’ll mark you. you’re mine, mine only. mine,,, shit you’re mine forever” relentlessly pushing your head into the pillows, her thrusts became frantic and desperate- her movement erratic and messy, it made you love her even more. her alpha side was making you wetter and wetter, bedsheets were covered with your slick.

your moans were insanely unholy. you were screaming and clawing onto whatever you could grab hold onto. her dick growing larger than before and that's when the both of you knew that she was about to knot into you. grabbing her arm for moral support, you dig your nails harshly into them leaving a few minor scars.

right now you looked so fucked out. you were crying, drooling everywhere all while you were screaming out her name. jimin took her time to place a generous amount of bites and hickeys all over your back too. you know… for extra measures of course.

“aah fuck, pleasepleaseplease alpha cum- cum in me” you sobbed out.

“bout to- gonna,, augh fuck cumming” one final harsh thrust into your cunt and her knot swelled as she spilled every ounce of cum into your hole. your cunt clamping down on her as well, essentially locking the two of you. whilst she knotted into you, she swiftly leaned to the back of your neck and inserted her teeth. it hurt a lot, the feeling of her sharp canines sent your nerves on fire, but only a second later and it felt almost orgasmic.

finally she had marked you, but now you were stuck like this for a while. her knot being large enough to just be stuck in this position. both of you were lowkey back into consciousness, the alpha side of her dying down a little bit and the subby omega side of you dissipating.

after a couple of minutes of basking in your orgasm, her knot went down eventually. it was just enough so that you could move slightly which inevitably caused her semen to seep out of your cunt.

“aaah~ can’t… believe.. i… marked.. you..” catching her breath through each word she managed to muster up “that means you’re mine.. forever, right?”

aww big dom alpha jimin was gone, but your cute puppy of a girlfriend was back. you turn around with her cock still in you and see her smiling right at you, her big puppy eyes beaming with glee.

“yeah.. forever”

[lauraroselam]

Surprise! DAW and Hodderscape have picked up my debut series, Micah Grey!

PANTOMIME will be out next September 2025, with SHADOWPLAY and MASQUERADE to follow in October and November.

HOWEVER, thanks to the doors @say_shannon opened with her re-release of the earlier Bone Season volumes, and similar to what @_elizabethmay has done with The Falconer, I'm editing the series for content this time around.

I still think earlier PANTOMIME etc holds up pretty well considering how young I was when I wrote it. But I wanted to take advantage of this truly wild opportunity and ensure the re-release better reflects my current writing style and craft. I also wrote this trilogy when I was trying to pretend that I was straight and cis (oh, sweet summer child), so I wanted to re-visit with that fuller knowledge of myself, too.

The series will still follow the same overall trajectory, but it's being tightened, enhanced, certain things are foreshadowed better since, hey, I know how it all shakes out now. I'm also making it in some ways a little gentler, though it won't quite be cosy fantasy. Figured we could all use that escapism. Pantomime (2013) had a very rocky journey over the years. Despite strong reviews, accolades, etc, the series was cancelled and I was dropped a month after the sequel came out and I was dropped. They cited low sales, but the imprint also went bankrupt not long after. So I had achieved my dream then was promptly unpublished with an unfinished trilogy. I later sold it to my publisher at the time in the UK and was able to release Masquerade in 2017, and the series ticked along okay, then largely disappeared. I got dropped by the second publisher too after those contracts were complete. I ended up landing elsewhere and steadily started finding success in 2020, first with Goldilocks, which did okay despite the pandemic, and Seven Devils, which hit the Sunday Times in the UK (though lifetime sales remained soft, sadly). Dragonfall ended up changing things for me, even if publishing it was also emotionally quite difficult in many ways.

I thought Micah's journey was largely finished, but here we are twelve years later, flying, me lovelies. Pre-order links aren't live yet, but I hope you'll take a look next year. Nice things people said about the earlier iteration:

“Pantomime by Laura Lam took me to an exotic and detailed world, peopled by characters that I’d love to be friends with . . . and some I’d never want to cross paths with.” – Robin Hobb

“Pantomime is a fantastical, richly drawn, poignant take on a classic coming-of-age story . . . a vibrant tale told with surety and grace.” – Leigh Bardugo

Art of Micah, Drystan, and Cyan by @layahimalaya.

Come one, come all. Ladies and gentlemen, and those who are both, between, or neither. Friends and foes, curs and skags, folks from near and far.

Step right up.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Twilight: Some Soulmate - Chapter Fifteen

Click here for masterlist

Parings: Paul Lahote x Reader

Description: Y/N a member of the Cullen family is imprinted on by one of the wolves, she is shocked, he is shocked. She is struggling with drinking animal blood over human, and he is disgusted by a vampire for a soulmate… But maybe it could work..?

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Words: 1,135

Winter came quickly this year, though it probably felt quick due to Nessie's growth, she was born in September, and as we entered December she was almost the size of a six year old. It baffled us all. We had never seen a vampire/Human hybrid, so we were all stunned, Carlisle and Edward threw themselves into research whilst the rest of us spent our time with Nessie, enjoying her as much as we could. 

I adored being around her, it broke my hear at the same time, and I still hadn't spoke to Paul about why it hurt so much. 

"Auntie Y/n its time to read!" Nessie giggled running to me, she launched herself into my lap with a book in hand. We had taken to reading everyday, snuggled together on the couch in front of the fireplace. It had become one of my favourite things to do. 

I took the book from her hand and opened it, I held the book as she read aloud, we usually got through the entire book in a day. Which meant I was soon becoming a regular in the book shop in town. 

Once she had finished reading the chapter we were on, she stopped and looked up at me, grinning. 

"When's Paul coming here again?" She asks, smiling so sweetly. She loved Paul, she loved most of the wolves it seemed, it was nice, seeing everyone get along all because of this little girl. 

"He should be here soon, he's taking me out" I answer. 

"On a date?" Nessie asked, giggling at the word. 

"I think so" I answered, I  pointed to where we were on the book, and she carried on her reading. 

After a little while, Bella and Rosalie joined us, listening to Nessie read. We all loved watching her exist, which would probably seem weird to an outsider. I think we were all terrified on how long we would have with her. 

"Did I miss reading time?" Paul suddenly said walking into the room, with Jacob behind him, Nessie's face lit up and she jumped up to hug both men. My heart hurt for a second watching Paul pick Nessie up for a tight hug, he spun her around the room and then let Nessie jump into Jacob's arms. 

Paul must of seen the pained look on my face because he cocked his head to the side, as if he was asking me what was wrong. I shook my head and stood up, I hugged Paul tightly and pressed a short kiss to his lips. 

"Hello my love, are you ready?" He asks, I nod. We weren't going out on a fancy date, just a coffee cafe date. We had found a cafe a short drive away we both loved. Paul took my hand and pulled me towards the door, I waved goodbye to everyone and followed. 

"Who's driving today?" I ask, it was snowing heavily outside. But neither of us felt the cold, so it was his motorbike or mine. He shook his keys in the air and walked towards his bike. 

He handed me the spare helmet, despite me telling him hundreds of times I don't need one, he still made me wear one. I didn't argue much, I knew he only pushed because he loved me. 

We both hopped into the bike, I snuggled in close behind him, holding on tight, I rested my head on his back, ready for the ride. I loved being on the bike with him, I loved holding on tight, he was so warm, I loved being able to feel it. I couldn't believe how in love I was with this man, and we could spend forever together. 

It was almost perfect. Almost. I could live with being with Paul forever, and loving him forever, unfortunately there was always a part of me, and I still hadn't worked out how big of a part of me, but I wanted a family. A family created by Paul and I.. And maybe I was getting ahead of myself, we hadn't been together for that long, but with forever, there was no set timeline of events. There was just us, and what we decided to do with forever. 

I would have to talk to Paul soon, though there was nothing to do about the thing upsetting me, I suppose it would help to talk about it. 

Forty minutes later, we arrived at our cosy little cafe, it didn't look too busy thankfully. We smiled at the staff as we walked in and sat in our usual booth, and we had had come here so often, the staff knew our drinks. I usually ordered a basic Cappuccino, it was warm and creamy and it hit the spot. I was glad beverages were something I could still enjoy. 

Paul however, surprised me with his usual order, I was never allowed to tell anyone ever, though Edward knew, but that was inevitable, but his order was a vanilla frappe, which I didn't think so bad, but according to him, his pack would take the piss out of him for it. Men were something I'd never understand. 

I chuckled and sipped my coffee happily. Our hands both on the table our fingers intertwined. We didn't even need to talk, his presents alone comforted me, I felt relaxed with him. 

"I love you" I sighed happily. His grip on my fingers became tightly and he pulled my hand over to kiss my fingers. 

"I love you my darling" He whispers with my fingers still touching his lips.  I felt his love through my body, reaching every part of me. It was my favourite feeling. I wished we could stay like this forever, just me and him, in our little bubble. 

But of course, its like my phone heard my thought, but it started ringing. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my pocket.

"Hello" I said as I answered it. It was Edward.

"Y/n I need you to come home now"

"What drama has our family created now" I joked, he didn't laugh. 

"The Volturi want us dead" He spoke

"Again?" I ask, slight humor in my tone. 

"Irina saw Nessie, she thinks we created an immortal child, she has gone to the Volturi, Alice has seen, they want us dead, I need you to come home" And then he hung up.

"We have to go back, don't we?" Paul asked, sadly I nodded, we left our coffees and left. 

"One day, we'll actually finish a date" I laugh

"If we left this town for an extended date, I think that maybe wouldn't be interrupted" Paul grinned pulling me close to him, his arm around my shoulder. 

"Have you met our families?" I smirk. 

We hopped onto the bike and left our cosy cafe. 

[sweetly-yours-and-mine]

Blood

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Joel comes home to the smell of blood.

Warnings: PLEASE READ angst without a happy ending, death of an infant, death of a child, main character death, loss of a child (stillbirth), loss of a partner

A/N: Please read the warnings above. If any of them feel even remotely uncomfortable for you, please do not read this fic.

I don't own photos, dividers or characters.

Over the past twenty years, Joel’s become familiar with blood in ways he’s never wanted. 

He’s known it dripping from his daughter, himself, Tommy. 

One time he tried to list off all the people he’d seen bleed, whether or not he knew their names. 

It smells sickly and sweet. He thinks the smell is the heat of life as it swirls up and out of the wound and into the air. 

He never knew how warm a human being truly was, until that early September night, Sarah panting in his arms. 

It had been an abnormally hot day for the month, the relentless Texas summer still lingering in the air, like a sun-warmed sidewalk, autumn still not fully committed to its task yet. He had been so hot all day, and through the night, as he screamed and ran and ran and screamed. 

There was a faint trickle of sweat going down his back, his shirt sticking to his skin. 

But when his daughter gripped at him, when he pressed his hands against her stomach and pressed down down, the blood had seeped through. It was hot, uncomfortably so. It ran down his wrists and made his fingers slippery, stained his arm, stuck his fine hairs to his skin till the blood crusted over into brown. 

It burned him wherever Sarah touched him, red handprints imprinted onto his skin that he punched Tommy over when he suggested that maybe he find something to wash them off. 

Joel didn’t like blood. Didn’t like it even when it meant his survival, that his heavy boulder of a life would live to see another roll up and down the mountain. 

Even in Jackson, he hated it. 

The sight of it sat in his stomach like hemlock, the smell filled his lungs like tar. 

When Joel saw blood, blood poured from his eyes. 

So, when Joel comes home from patrol, the house he’s worked long and hard to call home, has made sure to keep the slither of blood away from, he has to stumble to the kitchen table to catch his breath. 

The sweet smell hangs in the air like mustard gas. He sees the yellow fog of it twist and turn each corner and hang heavy at his ankles, grave-like and sombre. 

He wants to throw up. 

He follows the fog, follows the smell. The nausea rises and falls inside him like the tide, relentless and without fail. The impassivity of the ocean terrifying. The threat of eternity. 

When Joel opens the door to the bedroom he shares with you, the bedroom he’s worked long and hard at to call his, the bedroom he’s rearranged for you dozens and dozens of times over the past eight months as your nesting had gotten stronger until his back gave out, he stumbles and holds onto the doorframe to catch his breath and finds it doesn’t come to him. 

You’d traded a lot for those floral sheets. Had worked long hours to be able to afford them, and cooked as hearty a meal as you could when you finally got your hands on them. 

There’s so much blood that it’s turned the bedding and your dearly-loved sheets nearly black. You’re holding something grey and covered in blood to your chest, rocking it gently, sweat stuck to your forehead. 

You seem the ghost of the woman he knew. The one who got up and sang off-key without any music for a full house at the Tipsy Bison and stole Joel’s heart in one fell swoop of an eagle’s wing, your voice sounding like wind chimes. There’s a brush of blood on your forehead, the roots of fingers following a palm. 

Your eyes are hazy and delirious but still they light up when they see him, “Hi, Joel.” 

He walks into the room, he hears himself talking to you but doesn’t realise when he managed to do that. He sits down on the bed and it’s warm and wet. A few seconds later, he feels the blood crawl into his jeans. 

You mumble something and with a butterfly of a smile you hold out your arms to him. Joel finds himself stroking the face of his daughter, running his hand down the bridge of her nose, smaller than his pointer finger. 

One of your breasts is out of your shirt, milk runs from it and pools down into an oasis of white. There’s a dribble of it against his daughter’s mouth. 

You’re saying something again, “...eager to see you, Joel, to see her father.” 

Joel doesn’t know where you’ve found the strength to be talking like this. When he touches your forehead, you’re burning. He remembers that one night when he took you out dancing. Where he watched you move like a sirocco from the bar counter and got you drinks to cool off. He remembers pressing his lips against your hot skin, right below your hairline, he remembers your arm, strong and steady as it wrapped around his waist. 

It had been a long time since Joel had done anything of the like in public like that. When he pulled away he found his heart beating out of his chest without control. He was scared you would be able to see it moving against his shirt. A rapid rise and fall like the beat of a rabbit’s foot. 

“Isn’t she pretty, Joel?” 

He swallows and nods, says that she is because it’s the truth. The scrunched up, wrinkled face, colourless and lifeless, is beautiful because she was inside you for eight months and Joel spent those nights he spent with you talking to his daughter inside your womb. He hasn’t seen anything more pretty. 

“Lovely,” his voice is hoarse, and he hates how his tongue is cottony. He wants to say more and he only repeats himself, “Lovely.” 

You shift and groan but keep moving until you place your child in his arms. Your hand remains on her head, brushing your thumb back and forth, “Aren’t you happy?” 

“Why didn't you call for someone?” 

“I love her so much, I didn’t think it possible to love someone like this…” you let out a tired sigh and Joel feels the faint heated brush of a bit of your life pass against his neck. You lay down against your pillow. “She’s not latching…” 

Something inside him hallows out. Joel feels wind churn in every corner of his chest, braiding in and out between his ribs. His bones feel dry, the insides of them empty of any marrow. They hit against one another as the bleeding thing inside him continues to beat. 

“I’ll go get Maria-” 

He wonders why he didn’t think of this sooner, of getting help, why he didn’t run straight out the door when he smelt blood in his house, when he saw you in bed, more of your blood outside of you than in. 

“No,” an urgency hangs against your voice like an anchor. You reach out to him, “Stay with us for now.” 

Joel’s jeans are dipped in your blood, he feels it press mercilessly against his skin. 

He looks down at the baby in his arms, viciously silent, heartlessly still. 

Sarah had a set of lungs on her when she was born. Had screamed so loud it filled the room. 

“Alright.” 

When Joel dips his head to kiss your hairline, you smell like blood. One time, in the low light of your fireplace, before you’d moved in with him, you’d pressed your head against his neck and murmured that you used to use Dior perfume, that it was the only luxury you permitted yourself before the world set itself on fire. 

After he’d have sex with you, you smelt like sweat and Joel and skin. Heated and vibrant with life, Joel would press his front teeth into your upper arm until you pressed him away and called him an animal. 

When you came back from your shifts in the garden, you smelt like earth. Something rich and dark. Some mysterious force of nature clinging against your clothes and body, making you glow. 

He wonders if he would have fallen in love with you back when you sprayed yourself with designer perfume. If you would have let him into your life enough to have him put a piece of himself inside you to grow. Selfishly. 

His daughter lays heavy in his arms. 

He always noticed that, once the haze of the blood had cleared. When the blood had cooled down and the life had left its cells empty and deflated. 

How weighted Sarah was, when she wasn’t carrying herself and entirely dependent on his arms and strength. 

“Joel?” 

Nausea crawls up his throat like a slug, and he swallows it down. “Hm?” 

“Aren’t you happy?” Your voice is meek and small. He feels he could cup it in the palm of his hand and have room to spare. 

“Are you?” A childish smile grows on your face, your eyes glazed over, slightly out of focus. He supposes your happiness is his, and he nods before you respond, “I am. Very much.” 

You’ve made him a father again, after all. 

He leans down and kisses your baby. She’s still warm to the touch. He wonders how long ago this had happened to you. 

He wants to be mad at you for not getting help, for not calling for Ellie or him, or Tommy or Maria or any person in this black hole of a settlement. 

If he said he was happy though, he supposes he’s happy. 

“I’m tired, Joel.” 

“You’ve good right to be.” 

If he closes his eyes, he’ll feel the gentle movements of his daughter against his chest. 

“I think I might sleep.” 

Your lips have lost colour. There’s a dull certainty inside your voice now. 

“You do that, baby.” 

There’s so much blood in his jeans he fears he won’t be able to wash them out, that he’ll have to throw them out along with the mattress and the bedding. 

Thanks for reading, if you liked it, please consider leaving some feedback! I don't usually respond, but I obsess and re-read reblogs and comments constantly.

Masterlist here.

[blowflyfag]

Inside Wrestling: Volume 26, 2009

wrestling timeline 

Samoa Joe

Inside Wrestling journeys back in time to examine the career of a superstar who has left a major imprint on the sport

MARCH 17, 1979: The future “Samoa Submission Machine,” Nuufolau Joel Seanoa, is born in Orange County, California.

DECEMBER 18, 1999: After only a few months of formal training, 20-year-old Joe competes in his first professional match for UIWA. 

MARCH 3, 2001: Under a developmental deal with WWF, Joe loses to Essa Rios on the company’s Jakked program.

MARCH 14, 2001: Joe wins first singles championship–the UPW heavyweight title–by defeating Christopher Daniels.

JUNE 14, 2001: Joe and Keiji Sakoda win the first-ever NWA Intercontinental tag team championship in Pro Wrestling ZERO1. 

OCTOBER 5, 2002: Joe returns to the United States and begins wrestling for Ring of Honor. He loses his first official match to Low Ki. 

JANUARY 11, 2003: In the first of what would be many epic battles, Joe defeats “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson.

MARCH 22, 2003: Joe captures the Ring of Honor heavyweight title by defeating Xavier.

NOVEMBER 29, 2003: One-time partners A.J. Styles and Joe square off with the ROH champion getting the best of the “Phenomenal One.”

FEBRUARY 14, 2004: At ROH’s second anniversary show, Joe retains the promotion’s championship by defeating Low KI. Dan Maff, and B.J. Whitmer in a “Fatal Four-Way” match.” 

APRIL 23, 2004: When he can’t defeat Joe in the ring during an ROH event, Homicide attempts to end the big Samoan’s career by hitting the champ with a fireball.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2004: In the final round of the IWA: Mid-South Ted Petty Invitational tournament, Joe and Bryan Danielson fall to A.J. Styles. 

DECEMBER 4, 2004: Joe finishes his trilogy of matches against C.M. Punk as the victor. These bouts would go down in ROH history as some of the best the promotion has ever seen. 

DECEMBER 26, 2004: The longest ROH title reign in the promotion’s history comes to an end as Austin Aries beats Joe to win the gold. 

JANUARY 15, 2005: A bitter Joe receives a chairshot to the head and a DDT for good measure from a visiting Mick Foley during a special appearance for ROH.

APRIL 1, 2005: Joe’s downward slide on the indy circuit continues when he loses a number-one contender’s match to A.J. Styles in Pro Wrestling Guerilla. 

MAY 7, 2005: In a fitting change of pace, Joe captures the ROH Pure title when he defeats Jay Lethal. 

JUNE 11, 2005: Joe is victorious in a fiercely intense and physically destructive match against Necro Butcher in IAW: Mid-South. 

JUNE 19, 2005: Only eight days after his match with Necro Butcher, Joe makes his TNA debut at Slammiversary, defeating Sonjay Dutt.

JULY 8, 2005: A very active Joe chokes out Chris Sabin for fun and defeats Shark Boy and Elix Skipper in a three-way match in his Impact debut. 

JULY 17, 2005: Moving to 2-0 at TNA pay-per-views, Joe handily defeats Chris Sabin. 

AUGUST 12, 2005: In another shot at capturing the ROH title, a surprisingly opportunistic James Gibson defeats Joe, C.M. Punk, and Christopher Daniels. 

AUGUST 27, 2005: Two weeks after failing in his attempt to win the ROH title, Joe drops the Pure championship to Nigel McGuinness.

OCTOBER 1, 2005: In a critically acclaimed match, Joe is defeated by a visiting Kenta Kobashi during an ROH event. 

NOVEMBER 13, 2005: At TNAs Genesis pay-per-view, Joe breaks the code of the X division by attacking Christopher Daniels with a chair. He appears in the months that follow with a towel stained with Daniels’ blood. 

DECEMBER 11, 2005: Joe captures his first X division championship by defeating A.J Styles at TNA’s Turning Point pay-per-view, still carrying the blood-stained towel.

FEBRUARY 12, 2006: In a three-way match with A.J.. Styles and Christopher Daniels, Joe retained the X division championship at TNA’s Against All Odds pay-per-view.

MARCH 22, 2006: In the culmination to their long-running three-way feud, Joe loses the X division title to Christopher Daniels as A.J. Styles looks on in an Ultimate X match at Destination X.

APRIL 22, 2006: Joe takes part in the interpromotional feud between ROH and Combat Zone Wrestling. Joe’s ROH squad is defeated in a six-man match. 

OCTOBER 12, 2006: A no-decision is the result of an unsanctioned ladder match for the NWA World championship between Joe and Christian Cage on Impact. 

JANUARY 14, 2007: After struggling with TNA acquisition Kurt Angle for several weeks, Joe loses to the former Olympian at Final Resolution. 

JANUARY 31, 2007: Joe announces he will no longer work for ROH full-time and embarks on a “Samoa Joe Farewell Tour.”

MARCH 4, 2007: In his final appearance for ROH, Joe defeats long-time nemesis Homicide.

MARCH 11, 2007: Another shot at the NWA World championship proves to be in vain as Joe loses to CHristian Cage at TNA’s Destination X pay-per-view. 

JULY 15, 2007: Joe gains the pinfall at TNA’s Victory Road pay-per-view and becomes TNA World tag team champion while simultaneously holding the X division title as well. 

AUGUST 12, 2007: Putting up his X division and TNA World tag team titles against the TNA World title and IWGP championship, Joe loses to Kurt Angle at TNA’s Hard Justice. 

DECEMBER 2, 2007: When Scott Hall no-shows Turning Point, Joe delivers an intense promo aimed at TNA management and his would-be-partner.

FEBRUARY 14, 2008: An unlikely partnership forms on Impact when Joe teams with Christian Cage and Kevin Nash in an ongoing effort to eliminate Kurt Angle’s Alliance from TNA. 

APRIL 13, 2008: Upon eliminating the Angle Alliance, Joe captures his first TNA World Championship by defeating Kurt Angle at Lockdown in a “Six Sides of Steel” match.

OCTOBER 12, 2008: Sting defeats Joe for the TNA World championship at Bound For Glory IV.

OCTOBER 30, 2008: Along with A.J., Styles, The Motor City Machine Guns, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed, Joe helps lead the team of the Frontline against the Main Event Mafia.

NOVEMBER 9, 2008: In a grudge match against former mentor Kevin Nash, Joe loses in a controversial finish that sees his opponent use the ropes for leverage.

[duckprintspress]

September Patreon Releases: Six Short Stories and an Art Piece!

Duck Prints Press currently releases our single-author non-anthology short stories solely to our Patreon. The higher one backs, the more stories one gets! Not only do backers get access to our new releases based on their backer level, but they also get access to the entire back catalog of short stories we’ve published to Patreon! That means that someone who becomes a new backer at the $3/month level RIGHT NOW would instantly receive access to 41 short stories. Yes, $3 for 41 stories! Higher levels get even more; at our highest level, $25/month backers who subscribe now automatically gain access to 100 short stories and two exclusive art pieces. That’s a whole lot of awesome queer tales to read and art to view, so check it out, and read on to learn more about this month’s releases!

New General Imprint Titles

Telemachy by Willa Blythe. A bittersweet first-person exploration about a young lesbian who moves to the big city but can’t escape her regrets. Available to Patreon backers at the $10/month level and above.

Junk by J. D. Harlock. Set in a future when sentient robots box for human enjoyment, the fighter Junk Boy confronts his owner about his desire to retire. Available to Patreon backers at the $7/month level and above.

The Deadman’s Gambit by Nicola Kapron. An undead man who has long sought his equally undead husband and a young woman eager to rid herself of her family legacy join forces against the corporation that makes super soldiers in this zombiepunk sci-fi second-person story. Available to Patreon backers at the $7/month level and above.

In Fine Feather by Violet J. Hayes. After being summoned to be the familiar to an herbalist mage, a crow shifter is frustrated to discover that his summoner appears to already have another crow as his familiar. Available to Patreon backers at the $10/month level and above.

New Explicit Imprint Titles

On Campaign by Dei Walker. Lilya and Maret return in this stand-alone story set some months after the events of Clerical Error. War is hell; intimacy can be a much-needed break and chance to provide mutual comfort in this f/f fantasy erotica short story. Available to Patreon backers at the $5/month level and above.

then, too, at sea by ilgaksu. A young lighthouse keeper rescues an injured seal who washes up on the banks below his lighthouse, and discovers the seal is more than he appeared to be. Available to ALL Patreon backers!

September Backer-Reward Art Piece

Artist: May Barros Title: Magic Friendship

May Barros brings us their vision of aroace solidarity and friendship in this sweet piece of two dear friends in a magical setting.

Viewing Access ($5/month and $7/month backers) | Viewing and Download Access ($10/month and $25/month backers)

Become a Patreon backer today, get a ton of amazing stuff!!

[surra-de-bunda]

Gina Thompson photographed by Raymond Boyd (July 1999). 'Nobody Does It Better' was Gina Thompson's first album. Released in 1996, it featured production by Missy Elliott and Diddy, and featured appearances by Elliott, Diddy, and Craig Mack, among others. Her first single from the album, "The Things That You Do", was a success, peaking at number 41 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, and number 12 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart. Her song, "You Bring the Sunshine", was produced by John jon and was included on the NBA @ 50 compilation album as the lead single. It peaked at number 53 on the Hot 100. Also in 1996, Thompson performed background vocals for the song "Cold Rock A Party" by MC Lyte featuring Missy Elliott and Puff Daddy. She also appeared on Lyte's 1998 album Seven & Seven, on the track 'It's All Yours". Later work included "Why Do Fools Fall in Love", a re-imagining of the 1955 Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers hit of the same name. Thompson's "Why Do Fools Fall in Love," featuring Missy Elliott and rapper Mocha, was featured in the 1998 Lymon biopic Why Do Fools Fall in Love and its soundtrack. The singer also appeared on Missy Elliott's second album, Da Real World. By the latter part of 1998, Thompson's debut was certified Platinum by the RIAA after an estimate of one million copies of the album were sold. Thompson's second album, If You Only Knew, was set to be released on September 21, 1999 on Elektra Records through Missy Elliott's The Goldmind Inc. imprint. Two singles were released in advance of the album's anticipated release date: "Ya Di Ya", featuring Elliott, peaked at number 38 on the R&B chart. The album was shelved, and Thompson asked to be released from her contract.

[niki-phoria]

SORRY LAST ONE i promise but can you do heeseung x male reader and the song is back to December by Taylor swift. thank you so much 😊

- 🦋

pairing: heeseung x male!reader (no pronouns used; implied masc reader) genre: angst (??)/songfic word count: 1.0k

includes: exes to lovers, kinda implied non idol heeseung, slightly ambiguous ending i'll write a part 02 if someone asks for it, painting is based on this by peter weber !!

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i'm so sorry reqs have just been sitting in my inbox, i promise i'm working on them. i hope you like it :))

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33

the soft noise of shoes scuffling across the floor around you echoes throughout the extravagant art gallery. your gaze remains fixated on the painting in front of you; eyes lingering on each brush stroke and intricate detail. 

you pause at one particular painting hanging on a wall in the corner - almost isolated from the others. two men take up most of the frame; their arms tightly wrapped around one another. their hands cling onto each other’s bodies. the hug feels intimate - as if you’re intruding on the moment by simply observing the portrait. 

memories begin haunting you once again. with no facial features visible, it's far too easy for your still-heartbroken mind to imprint yourself and your ex-boyfriend into the places of the two men.

you shake your head, taking a step back away from the painting as if to escape your own past. turning on your heel, you begin to venture into another part of the museum when something - someone - catches your eye. 

i miss your tan skin, your sweet smile / so good to me, so right

your breath hitches in your throat. heeseung is beautiful. he always has been. even from a distance, you can see that time has been good to him. 

he’s wearing a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket - the black leather jacket that you had bought him for his birthday. his hair has been dyed so blonde highlights stain his previously ink black fringe. his bangs lay flat against his forehead, styled in the same way they were when you went to school together. 

heeseung’s shoulders have gotten slightly broader, though you aren’t sure if it’s the result of continuous exercise or a change in his posture. his biceps look more toned even in their relaxed position resting against his hips. 

you find yourself admiring heeseung as if he’s another exhibit. despite all of the changes you can pick out, some things always remain the same. his laughter sounds the same as it did years ago when it echoes throughout the building. heeseung reaches over to playfully swat at his friend’s shoulder the way he used to do to you. his eyes crinkle slightly when he smiles. it’s the same smile that you fell in love with. 

and how you held me in your arms that september night / the first time you ever saw me cry

your heart skips a beat for a second when heeseung’s gaze meets yours for a second. you can tell the moment he recognizes you. his eyes widen and he stops dead in his tracks, much to the concern of his friends. you almost feel numb as you immediately spin back around, returning to the painting you had been admiring only a few minutes before. 

heeseung’s steps echo against the floor as he quietly walks over to stand beside you. he glances at the painting in front of you for a few seconds before he turns to face you. “y/n?”

“heeseung.” a nervous smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you turn slightly to face him. the word feels uncomfortable as it leaves your lips. each vowel is curt and stunted. 

an unbearable few seconds of silence pass before your politeness gets the better of you. “it’s good to see you again.”

“you too,” he softly smiles. another period of silence passes before heeseung breaks it again. “how have you been?”

“i’m fine,” you nod. “i got into that university we talked about.” i wish you were there to see it. the words linger on the tip of your tongue before you swallow them down, forcing them back into a deep recess of your mind. 

“congratulations,” heeseung smiles. there’s an almost misplaced familiarity in his tone. “i always knew you would make it in.”

this time you allow yourself to face him. the corners of his lips quirk upwards. he’s proud. you can tell. “thank you. and what about you? how have you been?”

“oh, you know,” heeseung sighs softly. “i’m good. i finally traveled to tokyo.”

some of the tension relaxes from your shoulders. he’s always had an uncanny ability to relax you. “how was it?”

“the trip was great. japan is prettier than i was expecting.” there’s a small beat of silence once again. you debate making an excuse to leave for the sake of avoiding the awkward situation before heeseung speaks again - though this time the words are barely a whisper. “i wish you could’ve come. i kept thinking about how much you would’ve enjoyed it.”

maybe this is wishful thinkin’ / probably mindless dreamin’

you pretend not to notice heeseung’s gaze lingering on the side of your face. the quiet is nearly unbearable; both of you silently staring at the painting before you. facing the artwork is far easier than facing the man you used to love. the man you do love. 

heeseung shuffles slightly to stand a little closer to you. you can just barely feel the faux leather of his jacket brush against the cotton of your oversized sweater. it feels eerily familiar - the silence falling over you as you admire the artwork. 

your hand unconsciously drifts to brush against heeseungs’ before you can stop yourself. you both jump away from each other like a jolt of electricity has passed. “y/n,” heeseung murmurs.

but if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right

heeseung’s eyes are glossy when you meet them. he nervously bites at his bottom lip - twisting the muscle between his teeth for a few seconds. tears sting at your own eyes despite your continuous efforts to blink them away. 

“i miss you,” heeseung finally whispers. his voice shakes as he forces the words out of his mouth. an ache burns in your chest - something you haven’t felt since he left. “i promise i’ll do better. i’ll be better.”

“heeseung,” you choke out. your hands tremble at your sides. 

he swallows once. his gaze never leaves yours. there’s nothing but sincerity reflecting back at you in the darkness of his eyes. “can we please try again?”

[scene-iii]

—DINAH YUU INTRO PAGE

[ The (victimspectatorvessel) Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm ]

—THE RAMSHACKLE PREFECT A magicless boy who awoke in Twisted Wonderland during Night Raven College's Orientation Ceremony. Since then, Dinah has been pulled into the student body's schemes with little complaint, only a smile and a nod as he navigates friendships and deadly overblots. Despite his reserved demeanor, he's quite taken with this world's wonders. That is, only when they take place outside of Night Raven College.

[Fair skin that receives light scars over time. Fluffy blonde hair that reaches a little past chin, with his bangs pulled back and tucked snugly underneath a black ribbon. The ribbon's short ends stick up at the top, a bit like rabbit ears. Downturned sky-blue eyes, with a mole under the corner of his right eye. Gold-rimmed glasses with a hairline fracture on the edge of the left lens. His uniform tie is usually tied into a bow.] <ref will added at a later date.>

—CHARACTER BIO

Grade/Class: Freshman/Class A (No. 9) Birthday: September 6 (Virgo) Age: 16 Height: 168 cm Dominant Hand: Right Homeland: ??? [the opposite of the stars is the sea] Club: [blank, worn paper with pen imprints from the previous pages] Best Subject: History of Magic Hobbies: Embroidery Pet Peeves: Missed opportunities Favorite Food: [a clean plate, with a history of countless delicacies] Least Favorite Food: Canned tuna Talent: Picks up on most things with ease / Very intuitive

—REWOUND CLOCK [written under the pretense of twst's unconfirmed "time loop theory"]

Dinah is trapped within a time loop in Twisted Wonderland - one created when the NRC students aren't able to defeat Overblot Grim. As the one closest to Grim, Dinah is sent back to the beginning of his story to try and stop Grim's overblot. The reset doesn't seem to work, and the boy is sent back to wake up in a coffin over and over again.

The issue with this time loop spell is that it isn't perfect—it's something cast in desperation. Instead of sending Dinah back with the knowledge of the previous loop, so that he may prevent Grim from overblotting, Dinah's memory is completely wiped. You'd think, then, that each loop is the exact same song and dance. The first time it loops over (the second time he wakes up), Dinah can't help but think he's been here before; a feeling of familiarity rolling over him in waves.

He is subconsciously aware of the time loop.

As everything starts over and over again, Dinah grows more and more reserved. He's less outspoken, the excitable isekai protagonist in him wearing away like a clockspring after being rewound one time too many. His subconscious recognizes that he's been here before, so it's hard for him to be surprised or worried whenever a dorm leader overblots. He's got a feeling it'll work out, he just needs to follow along.

In comparison to his usual demeanor, Dinah gets really excited whenever the loop strays from the main story. Whether it be a friend's hometown event, a life-threatening Halloween adventure, or just stretching his legs around Sage Island, Dinah brightens up like the North Star. Everyone finds it strange when the prefect, a boy unshaken by horrific monsters of blot and magic, gets flustered over a new environment, local food, and a themed outfit.

Everyone, that is, except for Grim and Ace, who unknowingly smile when they see Dinah grin with his teeth.

—MISC DETAILS

𖦹 Dinah, although primarily inspired by Cinderella, is named after Alice's cat. He keeps Yuu as a last name though. No particular reason—I just wanted to keep the name Yuu in use.

𖦹 His birthday is the same as Cinderella, too. :)

𖦹 The tagline next to his homeland is a joke with a friend, that I may or may not expand on. The idea is that Dinah's Earth is very behind on space travel and has instead focused its efforts on uncovering and traveling the sea.

𖦹 His club and favorite food are left blank because they change with every loop, and they depend on who he grows closest to in that school year.

𖦹 His least favorite food is canned tuna—not to suggest any dislike of Grim! But because he's tired of seeing it loop after loop. He'd never stop buying it for Grim, though.

𖦹 His "intuition" is a result of being in a time loop. Outside of magical resetting, he wouldn't have the faintest idea of what comes next, but he is quick-witted.

𖦹 He has a habit of mimicking the body language of those he's grown close to. It varies in every loop, since he's always persuing new friendships, but Dinah will mimic a student's signature expression in casual conversation. (Ex; Deuce pounding his fists, Jade holding his chin, Rollo covering his mouth and nose, and, once, Crowley holding his arms out.)

last updated 10/25/2024

[frasermints]

tagged by my beloved @seedlessmuffins thank you k <3

tagging @iamidentical @anaphylactic-dread @lukevangelista @onmytape and anyone else that feels like it <3

if you had a spotify wrapped but for which hockey players you talked about the most, who would be your top five?

as the hockey panels say, i think i have to go off-board with this and break it down by pwhl - nhl - juniors because... i actually couldn't narrow it down to just five if i tried

juniors:

5: Landon DuPont, Everett Silvertips (WHL)

this kid was granted exceptional status to enter the whl a season early, and iirc at one point was tied for second most points in the league. he's "dropped down" a tad (tied for sixth of all defensemen in goals, tied for ninth in points) but like i need y'all to understand the only other whl player to be granted exceptional status is connor bedard i will never shut up about him okokok

4: Quinn Beauchesne, Guelph Storm (OHL)

drinks moon water before every game now at the suggestion of his crystal girlie billet mom who replies to everyone in the instagram comments of every video about him posted by the guelph/ohl/chl accounts. i think that speaks for itself.

3: Carter Savage, Tri City Americans (WHL)

wears number 21. i think that also speaks for itself.

2: Morgan Stickney, Shattuck St-Mary's (USHS)

she's the first female american player to be drafted into the whl, & the second female ever. she's a goalie and she's fucking insane, 23-4-3 with a .928 and 1.52 GAA. tri city had a female goalie in net in september 2002 (shannon szabados) and vancouver drafted a defenseman 286th overall in the 2022 draft (chloe primerano) so like. if she leaves shattuck it'd be historic for her to do both. i talk about this a LOT irl when discussing the pwhl and the future of juniors drafting, and the potential for women to not have to take the ncaa route and enter the pwhl before their early 20s.

1: Lukas Matecha, Tri CIty Americans (WHL)

second ever goalie i imprinted on. we traded his #2 after the very first whl game i watched in person and it was awful for me personally so he was the obvious next choice. got his first shutout last year, he and his new tandem went on a twelve game win streak and after losing in prince albert have continued it. i watched the entire 2024 nhl draft just to see where he'd go (he was projected as the third best goalie in all of north america, i expected him to go SOMEWHERE) and he WASN'T DRAFTED... biggest betrayal i've ever experienced tbh. he went to the cats development camp though and he took lots of photos with luongo so that eased some of my outrage.

pwhl:

5: Lexie Adzija, Boston Fleet

at the start of the season last year, this girl's mom surprised her by asking lexie adzija to show up at her birthday party and she fucking did. she showed up with like a signed stick i think?? if i remember correctly?? literally walked into this eleven year old girl's house and said happy birthday and brought her a fucking birthday present and ate cake with her and her friends. if that isn't the best way to grow the game i don't know what is and i'll never shut the fuck up about how important that is To Me

4: Emerance Maschmeyer, Ottawa Charge

my introduction to emerance maschmeyer was her replying to a comment on this video of a little girl the nhl (?) instagram account reposted of her making quite possibly the most insane save a seven year old is capable of, someone was like "can't wait for her to replace maschmeyer in ottawa in a few years" and she liked it and said "me either" and when i tell you that got me this 🤏🏽 close to switching sides and becoming an ottawa fan

3: Marie-Philip Poulin, Montreal Victoire

completely disregarding her talent as a hockey player because that alone is something i could talk about for a very long time (i still stand by my statement that if the nhl went coed she'd fucking smoke the men and i'm not sorry about it there's nothing you can tell me or show me that'll get me to change my mind) montreal is my pwhl team and the narratives of mpp and laura stacey being linemates got me GOOD. i take every opportunity to talk about this when i try to get people into hockey bc most people's frame of reference for women's sports is either tennis or the wnba and there was that meme going around of "oh all wnba players are lesbians, oh this wnba player had to play her ex and defended her against her own team" a while ago and it's like... if you're into women's sports just for the narratives there's so much better than that i PROMISE bro.

tied for first: Natalie Spooner and Blayre Turnbull, Toronto Sceptres

k knows why. that is all.

nhl:

workplace honorable mentions: Jeremy Swayman, Boston Bruins. Connor McDavid, Edmonton Oilers. Connor Bedard, Chicago Blackhawks. Macklin Celebrini, San Jose Sharks.

coworker kyle asks me about these guys all the time. i don't know why. i think he thinks that i'm a fan of them. he only knows the connors by name and even then he thinks they + mack are all the same person.

5: Joseph Woll, Toronto Maple Leafs

he's just a funky little guy i enjoy projecting onto

4: Seth Jarvis, Carolina Hurricanes

i need to bite him. i also believe wholeheartedly with my entire chest that we WOULD get along in real life.

3: Jake McCabe, Toronto Maple Leafs

i have his card in the back of my phone case and experience extreme cute aggression when i see his face i can't explain it

2: Fraser Minten, Toronto Maple Leafs

the only one i actually have any legitimate reasons for. watched him play up close and in person once when he was with kamloops and it was life changing i'm so serious. there's something insane about watching Your Rookie play hockey five feet from your face, close enough that you can reach out and touch them through a hole in the glass and knowing that one day they'll be Doing The Damn Thing. also knowing that he's the reason connor bedard pushed himself so hard he became what he is, and that mints took the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ approach and is still That good... i will literally throw up and die if i think too hard about this kid

1: Matthew Knies, Toronto Maple Leafs

my best friend that i took to the kraken/canucks game last szn and i call him "boyfriend" because she can never remember his name

[metamorphesque]

🍂 september poems 🍂

September 1913, William Butler Yeats

The Imprint of September Second, Ethan Gilsdorf

September, Joanne Kyger

Drowning in September, Eric Pfeiffer 

September, H Stuart

September Tomatoes, Karina Borowicz

One September Night, Franco Fortini

September Sunday, Lucille Broderson

September, 1918, Amy Lowell

September Midnight, Sara Teasdale

Monday, September 25, 2006, Susan Schultz

One September Afternoon, Leo Dangel

[ildarotyrannus]

In the spring of last year, I made several color reconstructions of marine reptiles for a thesis and presentation (it was about the reconstruction of marine reptiles) for a conference that was held in Ulyanovsk in September. The drawings were done in ballpoint pen (lineart) and Paint Tool Sai 2.0 (shadows and colors).

The first is reconstruction of Mixosaurus cornalianus, a widespread small Triassic ichthyosaur. I had already drawn a Mixosaurus in water earlier and even wanted to use it in the article, but later changed my mind, deciding that lateral reconstruction would better convey the appearance of soft tissues. This earlier drawing can bee seen here:

Both pieces are based on the fin impressions described in 2020 from a specimen found in the Middle Triassic rocks of the Bezano formation, Italy (www.researchgate.net/publicati…). This specimen has preserved the tissues of the dorsal and caudal fins. Both prints have thin collagen filaments, and at the base of the caudal fin, it was possible to detect the remains of smooth, scaleless skin. The fins have a triangular shape, and the dorsal one is associated with 15-23 trunk vertebrae. In other words, its position turned out to be more

forward then in reconstructions done before his paper.

The second is lateral reconstruction of the metriorhynchid Cricosaurus albersdoerferi, belonging to a widespread genus that inhabited the shallow seas of future Europe, Central America and Argentina. It was not a particularly large animal, reaching from 2 to 3.2 meters in length. Like the first reconstruction of a Cricosaurus, which I performed in the spring, this drawing is based on a specimen that preserved a large volume of soft tissue on the tail (upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia…). Also shown here is the salt gland in the antorbital fenestra, the presence of which was previously indicated in Cricosaurus araucanensis and Dakosaurus andiniensis. The spring work with C. albersdoerferi can be seen below:

Plesiosaurs are mentioned too. This is reconstruction of the polycotylid Mauriciosaurus fernandezi from the Late Cretaceous of Mexico. A complete reptile skeleton preserved in fine-grained rocks was described by a team of paleontologists in 2017: www.researchgate.net/publicati… There are five types of soft tissue imprints around the bones. Among them are dark material, probably left from the walls of the peritoneum, dark gray traces of blubber and impressions of possible small scales. The impressions show that the animal's belly was covered with rectangular scales, which were mixed with inclusions of small fragments closer to the limbs. The scales of the living reptile were almost indistinguishable, so that the skin looked smooth. This beautifully preserved specimen showed that plesiosaurs had much more soft tissue than previously thought. The tail was especially fleshy. Fat deposits created a smooth, streamlined shape, ideal for an agile swimmer.

The last thesis drawing is this reconstruction of the famous Early Jurassic ichthyosaur Stenopterygius quadriscissus. Many of its skeletons of amazing preservation were found in the fine-grained limestones of Holzmaden, Germany. Some of them were discovered back in the 19th century, which made it possible to quickly correct previous ideas about ichthyosaurs. The Stenopterygius specimens retained soft tissue prints in the form of a bacterial film, which made it clear that they were fish-like creatures with a dorsal fin and a crescent tail. They re still attract the attention of researchers. In 2018, the skin structure of one partial specimen was studied: www.researchgate.net/publicati… A fossilized blubber was described, similar in microstructure to that of marine mammals and leatherback turtles. This led to the conclusion that ichthyosaurs were reptiles with a high metabolism, which required fat insulation. Blubber allowed ichthyosaurs to travel across the oceans, swimming even into the cold polar waters. In addition, this Stenopterygius had pigment cells - melanophores. They were absent on the ventral side, which means that the Stenopterygius had a dark back and a light belly. This countershading coloring is typical of today's marine vertebrates and serves as a camouflage.

I did also three works in fully traditional style, with pens and pencils, but I'll show them in the separate post. :)

[dreamersbcll]

“Ink Blots”

for @krikeymate

3/5

——————————————————————————

May 19th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Two years. Two whole years. You got up and left. No surprise. I’m still where you left me.

Every day I wake up, and there’s five seconds of bliss before I remember. You’re there for a heartbeat, nothing more. I can almost feel your breath on my cheek and your hand brushing through my hair

I can picture it all. You are holding me, your chin buried into my shoulder. I am holding your hands as they wrap around me. It’s imprinted on my brain.

Amber tells me every day that I need to move on. That you’re long gone. That when you were here, you were never really here. It’s like a broken record.

Yet, She’s right in some ways. You always chose any other substance but me.

But I don’t want to admit that she’s right. She would take it and run. I love her, but she’s a little too intense sometimes. We’ve watched the Stab movies every night since you left like clockwork. I don’t get it.

Please come home. The back door is always open. I don’t lock my bedroom door anymore. You can slip in.

Love, Tara.

——

June 15th, 2018

Dear Samantha,

Formal right? I found your birth certificate and some other documents today. Well, Amber did. She looked through my shit earlier, claiming she “wanted to see if you took your personal information.”

Spoiler: you didn’t. But I don’t know why you would. I’m pretty sure just a driver’s license is needed to disappear.

Anyways, I put your shit into a box and hid it under the floorboards. You’ll find it one day, I’m sure.

I couldn’t find my information. Maybe I’m not a Carpenter. That would be something, huh? Being able to escape this hell family line.

A girl can dream.

Tara Carpenter (maybe).

——

September 27th, 2018

Dear Sam,

High school sucks. Sophomore year sucks. I hate this place.

I don’t want to do anything. I hate math. I’m not good at history. I can’t remember shit.

All the teachers give me looks. Looks of sympathy, disgust, suspicion. I think they recognize the family name. School wasn’t your thing, but it would’ve been nice if you didn’t fuck it up for me. I can barely keep up with the shit they throw at me.

The only one who’s forgiving me is my English teacher Ms. Smith. She has kind, gentle brown eyes, just like yours. Surprisingly, she’s the only teacher who believes in me.

We read books a lot. She helps mentor me in critical writing skills.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll write a book and make us famous, just like that Gale Weathers lady.

Tara

——

November 16th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Do you ever wonder if Mom was ever good? Did we make her this way?

Did I make her this way?

I’m so sick of cleaning up broken bottles and piles of puke. I’m so tired of watching her wither away right before my eyes. I can’t even save her. I can’t tell her to stop. I can’t get her to stop.

Begging and pleading never worked. Trust me; I’ve been trying it with you every night. I think God, or whatever deities I pray to, stopped listening years ago.

It’s strange. First, Dad leaves. Then you. And now Mom had her foot halfway out the door. Is it me? Do you all leave because of me?

What the hell did I do?

Confused, Tara.

——

December 14th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Sweet sixteen. Happy birthday to me. Not that you cared.

Mindy and Chad decorated my locker. Amber bought me flowers and a cake. Ms.Smith gave me a new journal. Mom went on a business trip to Singapore.

And… I’m sixteen. I have a handful of people that care. But they don’t matter. They don’t fucking matter.

I want you, Sammy. You promised to teach me how to drive. You promised to take me for my license. I’ve had to learn how to drive with Amber. And she’s taking me for my license tomorrow. Everything you were supposed to do.

But I suppose this is what you wanted. You would’ve come back if it wasn’t.

I hope wherever you are sucks. I hope you feel my disappointment and anger from here. I’m furious with you. I hate it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Tara

——

January 1st, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m drunk and I miss you and I wish you were here I wish you loved me I want you to love me come back come back come back

Love Tara

——

February 18th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I got picked for the school newspaper—advice column. I laughed in Ms. Smith’s face when she offered it to me.

Advice column. As if I would be the one to give advice. I can’t get anyone to stay.

Did you hear that Robbie Sullivan asked me on a date? I said yes. He never showed up to the theater. Amber was pissed. He came to school the next day with a broken arm and fractured ribs. He said some asshole attacked him.

Funny. Amber talked about a scene in the Stab franchise where someone gets ambushed and hurt. Seemed familiar.

Anyways. School is slow, and life is passing me by. Chad is a big-shot basketball player. I haven’t gone to a game. I can’t stand being in a room full of people and feeling so alone. Mindy is okay with it. She comes over sometimes to braid my hair and make my bed.

Everything is in slow motion. Time is passing, but not at all.

Do you feel that way?

Tara.

——

April 4th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m doing fine. I’m regaining all my strength and self-worth in record time. I brush my hair most days and even clean my room once a week.

I stopped going through the photos I kept under my bed. I feel no need to reflect on the past right now because that’s all I can do. There’s no future when I know you’re out there ignoring me.

Maybe even forgetting about me.

I joined a club. A book club. It’s nice just sitting there and letting people’s opinions swallow me whole. I can listen and nod, and everyone leaves me alone; because I’m not moping around anymore. Amber is happier anyways. She was so angry with me for being sad all the time.

Jokes on her; I’m still sad. But I can’t lose anything else anymore, so sadness is a wasted feeling. I can walk for hours in the darkness, stay up all night, pray, and it still wouldn’t matter.

You are still gone, and I am here. I might as well try.

Tara.

——

May 19th, 2019

Dear Sam,

Three years.

I don’t know if I have any tears left to cry for you. I’ve accepted that I’ll never see you again if you could help it.

I hope that once I’m out of this town, you come back, looking for me. And when I’m not there, you understand how it feels.

I try not to be mean. But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? An escape from me. You were leaving me before I could infect you with whatever darkness swirls inside me.

No explanation comes to my mind besides the one where you’re sick of me.

I don’t blame you. I get it.

Love, Tara.

[ashcal99]

Certain Things : Leah Clearwater XIII

Chapter Thirteen

"Something about you, It's like an addiction, Hit me with your best shot honey, I've got no reason to doubt you, 'Cause certain things hurt, And you're my only virtue"

Summary: Conner Swan moves to Forks Washington in hopes to help his sister Bella through her breakup with Edward. In hopes to find happiness again. He finds much more.

Warnings: (18+ only), descriptions of pain and violence, mentions of death, depression, loss, general angst, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion and child loss

Words: 3.2k

A/N: Last Chapter!!! Hope you enjoy! x

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

September 7th, 2006

“Sam is going to kill you.”

Jacob’s words seemed to ring throughout the air, Conner’s eyes trained on the tree line where the wolf had retreated. Seconds ticked by, his gaze unwavering as the inevitable sank in. Shit was about to hit the fan, no doubt about it. They were now all in danger, he suspected, sure that the treaty would mean little to nothing to the pack once the news broke out. 

Warm fingertips brushed against his stiff shoulder, breaking his gaze. His eyes turned to Leah, jaw clenching as he took in the sight of his wife, belly swollen with his unborn child. The last thing he would have ever wanted was to hurt anybody in the pack, but he knew that if anyone were to threaten the people he loved most, his sister, his wife, his child, he would not hesitate to do whatever it was he needed to do to protect. 

Conner’s hand reached upward, gently grasping Leah’s palm in his own, bringing it to his lips, leaving a cool kiss to the blazing skin. “He’s right.” He muttered, looking deep into her eyes. “Things are going to get a lot more complicated here soon.” He said.

A deep frown etched itself onto Leah’s face, “I won’t let them touch you.” She said sternly.

Conner shook his head at her words. “You, Bella, and the babies are the priorities here, not me.” He stated, head whipping around to the direction Jake had ran off to, an earsplitting howl ripping through the air. A horrible feeling sink into his cold chest

Turning on his heal, he lead Leah back inside the glass home to discuss the inevitable fight that would be heading their way soon. The conversation was in full swing by the time they made it back to the living room, all of the pale faces, etched with worry. They were a powerful group, no doubt about it, but the likelihood of being able to make it out of this with everyone alive was very slim and they all knew it. 

Dread began to take over Leah’s mind as the reality of the situation began to sink in. Would she really be able to face her brothers in a fight to the death if that was what it came down to? She knew the answer would be yes, because at the end of the day, protecting her imprint was what she would always choose, but that didn’t mean that she would ever be able to forgive herself for hurting anybody else that she loved in the process. 

Her heart ached as her thoughts continued racing on. Not only her pack brothers, but Seth too. Tears pricked her eyes as she pictured his face, the little brother that despite her teasing she loved with all of her heart. She knew deep down that if he were to get hurt in all of this that she wouldn’t be able to cope. First her father, and now Seth? She couldn’t be responsible for two of her loved one’s deaths.

The conversation hadn’t been going on for longer than ten minutes when footsteps came quickly approaching from the woods, Edward and Conner speeding to the balcony to see who the visitors were. Jacob’s figure appeared from the tree-line, Seth not far behind. 

“Get ready.” Jake said ominously, a cold look covering his face. “They’re coming for Bella and Leah.” He said, the words ringing in Conner’s ears. 

Conner stepped forward, determination clear in his voice. “They’re not going to touch them.” 

“Agreed.” Jake said bluntly.  

——————

Jake sat on the edge of his seat, the many stone faces surrounding him, hanging onto his every word as he spoke. “Sam’s lost the element of surprise, and he doesn’t want to take you on outnumbered, so he’s not going to come at you head on.” He explained. “He’s got the place surrounded and he’ll wait for his opportunity.” He continued. 

Leah looked up to her imprint’s amber eyes, squeezing their intertwined hands as her fingers began to shake slightly. The fear of what was to come beginning to overwhelm her. 

Conner glanced down at her, brow furrowing in concern as he felt her fingers twitch in his hold, bringing her hand to his lips to place a comforting kiss to the warm skin, hoping to help ease her oncoming panic.

Emmet’s voice boomed through the room. “He won’t get through without a fight.” He said determinedly, squaring his shoulders as if to dare someone to try to fight him. 

Carlisle’s head whipped around to look at his adopted son. “No fights.” He stated. “We won’t be the ones to break the treaty.” He said, turning to address the rest of the room. 

“The treaty is void,” Jake interjected. “At least in Sam’s mind.”

“Not in ours.” Esme said simply, her want for peace clear in her eyes as she spoke. 

Emmet stepped forward, “Carlisle, no one’s hunted for weeks.” He said, the words seemingly igniting the flames that crawled up Conner’s throat. The need for blood coming to the forefront of his mind. He shook his head, this would not, could not be is priority right now. He would not let his thirst control him when Leah was in danger. He would not let the monster control him.

“We’ll make do.” Esme said pointedly. Conner gulped the flames down, refusing to give the burn anymore attention in that moment. 

Carlisle looked towards the wolf. “You’ve done us a great service, Jacob. Thank you.” He said sincerely, looking over the family who he loved and wanted more than anything to keep safe. 

Leah stood from the couch, letting Conner’s hand drop as she retreated to the room they had been given for the time being. Conner followed, closing the door softly behind him as he came up to her from behind. She stool at the far edge of the room, palms flat on the dresser that was against the wall, looking into the mirror above, worry and dread written all over her tanned face. 

Conner’s fingertips brushed her waist, encircling his stone like arms around her to the front of her swollen belly, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, seeing the pain in her eyes through her reflection. 

Tears prickled her vision as she looked ahead to the image of herself. Swallowing hard, she turned in his grasp, grasping his shirt as she let her tears begin to flow, burying her face in the fabric. Silent sobs shook her frame, the sadness radiating off of her body like tidal waves. 

Conner’s dead heart broke as he held her shaking body, venom stinging his eyes as the sorrow flooded the room. 

——————

September 9th, 2006

Minutes turned into hours and hours into days as the Cullens continued their effort in researching what these fetuses could mean for the two young women. Edward’s hope spiraled the drain as each answer showed more and more dread, his frustration growing by the second. 

Esme had made sure to make Seth and Jacob as comfortable as possible given the situation, giving them meals whenever they were hungry and even offering them beds to sleep in, despite both rejecting the offer. Having Seth there with her had seemed to lessen Leah’s stress just slightly, happy to at least be on the same side of the inevitable fight as her brother.

Conner was happy to see the comfort Seth was providing for her, relieved that something was going their way in all of this, even it if it was something small given the big picture. Despite things going better with Leah, however, things continued to get worse for Bella as time ticked on. Bruises scattered, her thin lifeless frame, pain covering her hallowed face as Carlisle informed her that the baby had broken another one of her ribs. Conner gave her hand a small comforting squeeze, trying to show her that he was there for her, despite her husband not being. 

“It’s crushing you from the inside out.” Edward snarled, the corners of his lips curling down into a frown. “Carlisle tell her what you told me.” He urged. “Tell her.” 

Silence rang throughout the room as Carlisle looked between the two. “Carlisle, tell me. It’s alright.” Bella reassured, giving him a small nod. 

The doctor stepped forward towards her fidgeting body, eyes scanning her face once more before speaking softly. “The fetus isn’t compatible with your body.” He informed her gravely. “It’s too strong.” He continued. “It won’t allow you to get the nutrition you need. It’s starving you by the hour. I can’t stop it and I can’t slow it down.”

Tears came flooding into Bella’s eyes as she blinked hurriedly trying to fan them away before they broke through. “At this rate, your heart will give out before you can deliver.” He stated, Conner looking to the floor as his heart cracked just a little bit more. 

Bella gulped before speaking, trying to swallow the fear in her voice. “Then I’ll hold on as long as I can and then-“ She tried, Carlisle interrupting her words. 

“Bella.” He spoke softly, laying a comforting half on her shoulder. “There are some conditions that even venom can’t overcome.” He informed her. “You understand?” He asked lightly, as if speaking to a terrified child. “I’m sorry.” He said, looking down to the floor, a grave expression covering his features. 

Conner looked to Edward, giving him a pressing look, begging him internally to not hurt her heart further by the conversation he knew was coming as he left the room quietly. 

Letting out a deep breath that his body didn’t need, he sped quickly through the halls back to his room, finding his wife where he had left her, in a deep sleep the mattress the occupied the middle of the room. Despite the despair he felt about the likelihood of losing his only sister, he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t equally letting out a sigh of relief that Leah wasn’t in the same boat. The pregnancy had been progressing smoothly mostly, apart from the occasional symptom that would be considered normal for even a human pregnancy. 

Of course, the relief had stopped there, because there was still a pack of angry wolves determined to ruin things. Although he doubted Sam’s ability to hurt Leah, the same did not go for his own safety as well as the safety of his child. If Sam truly thought of the baby as nothing else other than a bloodthirsty monster, then Conner knew Sam would try to take the child away from them. As much as he knew that to be true, he also knew that Sam would be putting the blame of whatever pain he inflicted on Leah emotionally on him rather than himself. 

Conner knew without having to think for more than a second that if it came down to it, he would give his life in place of the Leah’s or the baby’s and as he looked down at his wife’s sleeping form, he couldn’t help but feel at least a little bit of peace in that fact. The fact that as long as he was alive, or as alive as you would consider his current state, that his little family he had created would be safe. 

——————

September 10th, 2006

It was just a day later when the inevitable happened. 

Shit hit the fan. 

Bella had just told Jacob the baby names she had chosen, while he tried his best to hide the obvious disdain for her choices. Edward had just filled her cup with the blood that had been giving her nutrients for the past day, Leah muttering something about being glad she didn’t have to resort to such a disgusting diet, no offense to Conner of course. 

Rosalie had picked up the styrofoam cup, reaching her hadn’t out to hand the container to Bella when it all happened in a flash. Conner watched in horrifying slow motion as the cup hurtled to the ground, Bella’s body literally crumpling after it, spine cracking on the way down. 

Conner stood, frozen in his living nightmare as he gave his sister one last look as they rushed her away. Of course this had to happen the one night Carlisle had been gone hunting. Of course the one person that had the best chance of saving her fragile life was nowhere to be found in that moment, miles away. He gulped, snapping himself out of his trance as he scooped Leah into his arms, rushing to their room. 

Howls ripped through night air, echoing throughout the trees. He sat Leah on the edge of the bed, getting down on his knees in front of her. “Please stay here.” He begged, grasping her hands desperately in his own. “They’ll be here soon, and I know you want to help, but please stay here. I’m begging you.” He said, pleading with her with his eyes as tears flooded her own. 

“Conner, n-no.” She stuttered out, panic filling her chest. “Stay here, please.” She begged. 

He shook his head lightly. “I have to go make sure that Seth is okay, make sure that they stay away from you and the baby.” He said, voice filled with despair. He brought his hand to her now damp cheek. “I love you, Leah. More than anything in the world.” He muttered, crashing his lips to her own, needing the feel of her, the taste of her one last time.

The comfort of her kiss engulfed him, wrapping him in her love so tightly it took everything in him to pull away from her touch, and as he did, his heart gave its’ final break, shattering as he gave her tear stained face one more look before speeding outside. Although being turned into a vampire was the most painful thing he had ever been through, he knew that the pain of the venom didn’t do anything in comparison to the pain he felt in every step he took away from her. 

Shaking the image of Leah’s heartbroken face from his mind, it dawned on him that he could no longer hear his sister’s heartbeat. His chest gave a feeble ache, incapable of feeling anymore pain in that moment. She was gone. Bella was dead. 

He shook the though from his mind as he joined the rest of the coven on their front lawn, facing up with the snarling beasts in front of him. The wolves burst from the trees. The large black one coming straight for his neck in an instant. Sam. He wrapped his arms around the beast’s neck. Holding it back from himself as he pushed back against its strength. 

The wolf wriggled itself free from his grasp, knocking Conner swiftly onto his back. It snapped its jaw menacingly, its large paw holding him down before lunging in for his attack. Conner’s hands shot outward, holding the jaws open and away from his face as his eyes darted to the side, seeing Seth frozen, looking at his former pack brothers. “Seth!” He shouted, gaining the boy’s attention. “Go protect Leah.” He pleaded, watching as he shook himself out of his trance and ran into the home. 

Sam bared down on Conner, forcing all of his strength into his bite, as his sharp teeth got closer and closer to ripping his face off. 

“Stop! It’s over!” Jake yelled, voice ringing throughout the trees. “If you kill her, you kill me.” He stated.

Sam lifted his head, looking at Jacob before lunging in his direction, knocking him back ten feet. 

Jake burst into his wolf form, snarling back at the pack before him as Edward spoke. “Jacob imprinted.” He spoke, stopping Conner in his tracks. He stood in shock, starring at the russet wolf before him. “They can’t hurt her. Whoever a wolf imprints on can’t be harmed. It’s their most absolute law.” He explained.

Sam paused, dumbfounded, eyes flickering between them all before huffing. His eyes settled on Conner, the fading red still present in his own eyes as he saw him for what he really was, a monster. Was he really going to sit by while this man continuously put the woman he was once in love with in danger, time and time again? The man that would ultimately cause her death by the atrocities he had committed. Fuck laws and treaties, he couldn’t let this go on any longer. 

He lunged forward once more, catching Conner by surprise as he sunk his teeth into his shoulder, a loud yelp ripping from his stone chest. 

“Sam!” A scream rang out. 

Leah stood there on the balcony her white knuckles gripping the banister so tight it began to crack under the pressure. “Please, Sam, leave him alone.” She begged, tears streaming down her red cheeks. 

Sam looked up, hesitating as he saw the pain in her eyes. He stepped back taking in the full view of her. She looked… healthy, much different than Bella had looked in Jacob’s mind. Maybe this wasn’t a death sentence for her like it was for Bella. 

“Please, can’t I have happiness too?” She asked, voice cracking. Sam’s eyes lingered, seeing the pain in her eyes, no doubt caused by him, and suddenly felt an overwhelming shame come over himself. Conner hadn’t been the one to hurt her over and over; it was him. He was the guilty one. He was the monster. He gave the man before him one last look before turning and retreating into the woods, the pack behind him as he returned to La Push.

——————

September 12th, 2006

It had only been two days since the big fight. Bella had still not awoken from her transformation. Conner’s shoulder still held the scar left from the bite from Sam, and was most likely never going to go away. Though the battle was far gone, there he was again, terrified. This time because he was about to become a father. 

Leah had gone into labor, thankfully much less dramatically than his sister just as the sun had set that Tuesday. Conner stood at her side, letting her squeeze the life out of his hand as she pushed with each contraction. Carlisle coached her through every second, assuring her that she was doing a great job. 

Before they knew it, there she was. His daughter. A perfect copy of him and his wife, lying there in Leah’s arms, blinking slowly as she took in the new world around her. He saw right then that this love would never leave his heart, this astounding, world crumbling love for his child. There was nothing like it he had ever felt before, and as he stood, with his little family wrapped in his arms, he knew that whatever life had to throw at him in the future, whatever it had left to hurt him with that as long as he had them by his side he would be okay. 

Because certain things would hurt, but they would be his virtue. 

THE END